Storytelling for Change
Last month I had the honour of sharing my story, and my son’s story, in an online discussion hosted by Moms Stop The Harm and Healing Hearts Canada. The impetus of that conversation was the release of my book, Here With You: A Memoir of Love, Family, and Addiction, but the discussion was about my life: the challenges of raising a son with substance use disorder (SUD), the struggle to focus on my own wellbeing, the devastation of grief after losing my son, and the careful rebuilding of my life based on purpose and hope.
But what really matters to me—what thrills me to no end—was that I got to share the difficult truth of my story. There were so many years when I couldn’t find anyone to listen. At least not in a way that made me feel heard or seen. So often, we swallow our stories in silence rather than face the blank stares, heartfelt but unhelpful advice, or—worst of all—righteous judgement from somebody who has never experienced the tragedy of a loved one lost to addiction, or death. People who truly listen, who understand because they’ve been there or are open to learning from someone who has lived through it, are to be treasured. I’m deeply grateful to everyone who has held space for my story, just as I’m so honoured and grateful for the people who have courageously shared their story with me.
My writing has been called “brave” and “unapologetic” and, while true, those words remind me how much work is left to do. We wouldn’t need to be brave to tell our stories of trauma and heartache and hope, if we weren’t legitimately worried about the stigma and shame associated with SUD. It wouldn’t be so note-worthy when a mother doesn’t apologize for sharing her story of loving and living under impossible circumstances, if society wasn’t so dead set on judging parenting in general, and mothering in particular.
Sharing our stories in a safe environment is how change happens. First within ourselves, but then the healing power of shared experiences ripples outward, taking on a force of its own. Our stories can be both wisdom and weapon. We can fight against society’s stigma and judgement, one story at a time. We can release our own shame, one story at a time. And if we are brave enough and unapologetic enough, we will change the world—one story at a time.
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You can watch Kathy’s conversation with Healing Hearts Canada on YouTube, or find her book, Here With You: A Memoir of Love, Family, and Addiction wherever you buy books.
